Damn I’m Lit . . . just not in the way I like

Time for another update in this BS rollercoaster of being a cancer patient.  Back in November, literally the week of Thanksgiving, I felt some tiny lumps right next to my contralateral collar bone (the other collar bone on my right side that has never had or shown to have cancer). I freaked out, meet my oncologist, he says my blood work looks pristine and those lumps feel like an injury.  I hurried my happy little butt home and enjoyed the holiday.  Well over the next few weeks I felt like they started to grow. Then over my international honeymoon, as far as I could be from that damn hospital, the lumps in my collarbone grew and I actually had two lumps that felt like hematomas pop up on my torso.  Luckily the week after we got back I had appointments already in the book with every one of my doctors, including scans, and the results were truly devastating.

 

My scan was lit like a Christmas tree.  The cancer was never gone from my body and had found its way through my blood stream and lodged itself in lymph nodes along my contralateral collar bone, sternum, under my right arm, and three mets (lesions/tumors) in my liver.  Even writing it just hurts my heart all over again.  Luckily, my team of amazing doctors immediately jumped into action.  They all contacted me that day with a game plan and by the following Monday I was on the operating table getting a tissue sample out for genome testing to help create an effective plan for me, followed by chemo infusions today to help stabilize the cancer until a more effective treatment can be determined.  I even have my tumor growing in a little mouse at the hospital, who we have christened “Esparanza” or Hope, to help find an effective treatment for my specific form of Breast Cancer.  I’m praying for you little mouse! You got this! We both got this!

 

I don’t want to sugar coat things.  Metastatic Breast Cancer (Stage 4) doesn’t have a known cure.  The medicines that are there are meant to give the patient a few more months or a few years at best.  There are many women I have made friends with that have lived with it for years but there are also a lot of younger women who succumb quickly to this horrible disease.  But I am making more life changes and doing what I can to help my body fight this disease in the strongest way possible. 

I don’t plan on giving in, even though sometimes I think about how much easier that could be. I have always believed in miracles.  Ever since I was a little kid the miracles performed by Our Holy Mother filled my heart and soul with the wonders that God could perform.  I’m still praying, still hopeful, still grateful for everything that I have had in my life thus far, even if the last two years have been filled with worry and heartache.  I appreciate all prayers going forward, not just for me, but also for all those out there that are left to fight against the odds of cancer.  Also, prayers for my loved ones.  There is so much more time to be had with them and they have been amazing these last few weeks, especially my husband.   

 

Until next time . . .