Pink Ribbons


I really HATE the color pink, so of course I would be destined to join the pink ribbon wearers on July 19th, 2018.  It all started when I found a small lump.  I didn’t freak out because it was the same spot where I had a previous biopsy/MRI several years ago which ended up being nothing.  After a Dr. visit, several calls to imaging locations, having them reschedule me (that is another angry story but for later), I was on my way to a 3D mammogram, ultrasound, and biopsy.  The radiologist called the next day and I was in the middle of working on a project due for my Mixed Methods course when I heard the words “It’s cancer”.

No one ever expects to have the entire course of their life changed in an instance, but I definitely wasn’t.  I was supposed to be planning my honeymoon and finding a house for our future growing family, not tracking down a surgical oncologist and begging them to see me the same day.  I hate that I want to plan for the future but feel guilty in not knowing what that future holds.  My mind has been spinning around going from best to worst case scenario due to unsuccessful and very regrettable Google searches that leave me on the verge of panic attacks. Seriously NEVER google stuff about cancer. NEV-ER!!!

I have an appointment with a surgical oncologist on July 30th, coincidently the same day I am supposed to be back at work from our summer holiday.  I am anxious, nervous, scared, sad, worried, and a little mad having to wait to find out my fate but I know that once I meet with her and she comes up with a plan, I will feel more in control.  Until then I am doing all in my power to live my everyday life as normal as possible.  

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