Communal Chemo

Today was the first day that I experienced the communal infusion room.  It’s basically a large open room with several patients hooked up to machines with only three visitor chairs.  My mom and dad were not allowed to join me because there was not enough room for visitors. I feel bad because my mom and dad are stuck waiting for me in the waiting room not knowing when I will be done but mostly, I feel bad because it’s the first time I’ve been through this process, alone.  Not that it’s the end of the world but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it feels really lonely to just be sitting here alone, tied up to some terrible drugs, no one to talk with or take my mind off of the process, even if just for a few minutes.  I’ll keep myself busy and find ways to make the time pass, but it just makes me feel for those who truly go through this entire cancer journey alone.  Support is necessary during this time.  I’m mad at myself that I haven’t been more supportive to other men and women who have gone through this before me, but I sure as hell will make sure to be right there for those who come after me.  Guess I’m just going to have to download some shows off Netflix.  Just need to figure out which ones my husband will allow to watch on my own???? . . . Until next time