Horcrux in the Honker

I met with my oncologist yesterday and turns out my current chemo regiment of Taxol is not working.   The tumor actually doubled in size from when I finished my first chemo regiment of drugs, but still not as big as when I started treatment all together, so there is that silver lining. They are changing my treatment to Carboplatin and Gemzar.   I will receive both drugs one week, then just Gemzar the second week, then I get to skip a week.   They will evaluate every start to the cycle and if it works then I will get 4 cycles to finish in Feb.   If it doesn't then they will stop after cycle #2 and send me to surgery.   It’s definitely not the news that one wants to hear, but in talking with other Triple Negative Breast cancer patients, it’s not unusual for Taxol, by itself, to not work as effectively as needed.   This new combo of drugs is not supposed to be as harsh as my AC combo but definitely not as easy as Taxol.   Every persons cancer cells are ...

Today is my 10 th Chemo session but number 6 of 12 for my Taxol regiment.  So only 6 more to go, Yay!  In my mind, the current regiment of Taxol isn’t as effective as my previous regiment but the Oncologists still seem pretty positive, but I shall know more next week when I meet my doctor.  It is a scary feeling to not know how the Horcrux is truly responding and it can lead to some dark thoughts.  I have to remember to stay positive, trust in God’s will, trust in the Virgin Mary’s intercession, and continue to have faith.  Keep up the prayers, they truly can be felt and help me when I start going down those dark roads!    Last week was Thanksgiving and I was told due to the hospital’s schedule around the holidays, I was not going to be able to get treatment during Thanksgiving.   That was beneficial for me because unfortunately my husband’s grandfather passed away the Saturday before Thanksgiving so we had to make an unexpected trip...

Today was the first day that I experienced the communal infusion room.   It’s basically a large open room with several patients hooked up to machines with only three visitor chairs.   My mom and dad were not allowed to join me because there was not enough room for visitors. I feel bad because my mom and dad are stuck waiting for me in the waiting room not knowing when I will be done but mostly, I feel bad because it’s the first time I’ve been through this process, alone.   Not that it’s the end of the world but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it feels really lonely to just be sitting here alone, tied up to some terrible drugs, no one to talk with or take my mind off of the process, even if just for a few minutes.   I’ll keep myself busy and find ways to make the time pass, but it just makes me feel for those who truly go through this entire cancer journey alone.   Support is necessary during this time.   I’m mad at myself that I haven’t been ...

Luckily neither of these happened together but I figured I would write about both in one post. Florida was the getaway my husband I needed.   I got to wear my medical mask on the plane, which was a good idea because there were many a people hacking up lungs on the plane. When we arrived in Sanibel Island, we were able to enjoy some beautiful weather and the beach, relax, drink some wine, and enjoy some great company with friends that we only see once a year or when one of us decides to get married. It was great to be back in a state where my Florida State gear is considered the norm and we even to stop by a Publix, although not as hoping as the ones in Tallahassee.   The only complaint was the No-See-Ums (a.k.a. Sand Flies). They bit up my legs like a buffet and now I look like I have a re-occurrence of the Chicken Pox. SOOO ITCHY! I hope that every one of these little punks die a painful death. I met with the Oncologist when I got back fr...

My last two infusions of the “nasty” chemo are gone and done!   Number 4 really hit me harder than the first three, which was expected since chemo is cumulative.   I was much more nauseous and way more tired for the week following treatment, but my energy levels are back up and I can pretty much eat what I want without any unintended consequences.   Also, the one thing they don’t really emphasize is the extent of constipation you experience due to chemo.   Forgive me for diving into bodily functions, but at this point I need to invest in some laxative companies on behalf of all cancer patients.   They single handily can keep those companies in business. My husband and I have a trip to Florida for a wedding for some really good friends and I was beyond nervous that the Oncologist would ex-nay my travel but luckily, I was given the all clear and even given an extra week break between infusion #4 and #5!   Not much more to report.   I...