Horcrux in the Honker

Today is my 10 th Chemo session but number 6 of 12 for my Taxol regiment.  So only 6 more to go, Yay!  In my mind, the current regiment of Taxol isn’t as effective as my previous regiment but the Oncologists still seem pretty positive, but I shall know more next week when I meet my doctor.  It is a scary feeling to not know how the Horcrux is truly responding and it can lead to some dark thoughts.  I have to remember to stay positive, trust in God’s will, trust in the Virgin Mary’s intercession, and continue to have faith.  Keep up the prayers, they truly can be felt and help me when I start going down those dark roads!    Last week was Thanksgiving and I was told due to the hospital’s schedule around the holidays, I was not going to be able to get treatment during Thanksgiving.   That was beneficial for me because unfortunately my husband’s grandfather passed away the Saturday before Thanksgiving so we had to make an unexpected trip...

Today was the first day that I experienced the communal infusion room.   It’s basically a large open room with several patients hooked up to machines with only three visitor chairs.   My mom and dad were not allowed to join me because there was not enough room for visitors. I feel bad because my mom and dad are stuck waiting for me in the waiting room not knowing when I will be done but mostly, I feel bad because it’s the first time I’ve been through this process, alone.   Not that it’s the end of the world but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it feels really lonely to just be sitting here alone, tied up to some terrible drugs, no one to talk with or take my mind off of the process, even if just for a few minutes.   I’ll keep myself busy and find ways to make the time pass, but it just makes me feel for those who truly go through this entire cancer journey alone.   Support is necessary during this time.   I’m mad at myself that I haven’t been ...